For the past 20 years, women like us have been told the same story:
➡️ Collect titles, and you’ll finally feel confident.
➡️ Stay resilient, and you’ll be rewarded.
➡️ Keep your emotions behind closed doors, and you’ll be respected.
And for a long time, I believed it.
By 25, I was already an Art Director.
By 32, a Consulting Manager in one of the biggest firms.
On paper, I had everything I thought I wanted - recognition, money, success.
But what no one tells you is that when confidence is built only on external achievements… it eventually cracks.
The Hidden Cost of “Success”
The truth is, I wasn’t thriving.
I silenced my emotions because I thought that’s what resilience meant.
I performed at work while quietly battling anxiety attacks.
I kept pushing harder because I believed slowing down would make me invisible.
Over time, all those suppressed feelings started to leak out in ways I didn’t expect - frustration, anger, self-doubt.
It wasn’t leadership.
It was survival.
And when I was finally diagnosed with CPTSD, I had to face a reality I’d been avoiding:
👉 My version of “confidence” wasn’t real confidence at all.
What I Found Surprised Me
In my healing, I uncovered a very different truth:
✨ Confidence isn’t in the title you hold.
✨ It’s not in working harder than everyone else.
✨ It’s not in proving you’re “enough.”
Confidence is in gratitude.
It’s in composure.
It’s in empathy that doesn’t mean self-abandonment.
Now, I listen more than I speak.
I pause before I react.
I give myself permission to be fully human.
And here’s the most important part:
💡 The moment I stopped performing confidence and started embodying it - everything shifted.
A Practice for You
This week, I invite you to try this:
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The next time you feel self-doubt, pause before reacting.
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Ask: “What would the most grounded, confident version of me choose here?”
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Place your hand on your heart and whisper: “I already am enough.”
It may feel small. But it’s these micro-moments that build the foundation of true self-trust.
Why I’m Sharing This
Because I know I’m not alone.
So many ambitious women are exhausted from chasing confidence through titles, praise, and perfection. And yet… what you’re craving isn’t outside of you. It’s already within.
That’s why I created The Inner CEO - a weekly space where we don’t just talk about confidence, we practice it. Where we build the tools that help you not only look the part but feel it, every day.
Confidence isn’t something you earn.
It’s something you remember. 🌿
👉 Stay with me on this journey:
• Subscribe to The Inner CEO newsletter so you never miss these weekly practices.
• Listen to the latest episode of Own Your Brilliance for a deeper perspective. 🎙️
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